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The Price of Flaking: What Lack of Trust & Dependability Can Cost You

Written by Kate Hanson | Oct 28 2024

Ever had that friend who says they’ll be there but mysteriously disappears when it’s time to show up? Or maybe you’ve been on the other side, struggling to follow through when life gets busy. Whether we like it or not, reliability matters—a lot. In fact, the whole foundation of trust rests on it. When we consistently flake, even with the best of intentions, we’re gradually withdrawing from our “trust bank”—and that balance matters more than we might think.

Let’s dive into why trust and dependability are the unsung heroes of any relationship and how strengthening these traits can make your connections, well, actually connected.

Trust: The Bedrock of Every Relationship

Imagine this: every time you follow through, you’re making a deposit in the relationship. But each flake? That’s a withdrawal. When the balance tips, trust can be hard to regain. And the funny thing about trust—it’s not built through epic gestures. It’s the small, everyday moments that add up: showing up, keeping promises, and just being present. It took me forever to understand this!

In personal relationships, trust keeps things real. Friends, family, and partners need to know they can count on you, even for the small stuff. The same goes for work, where reliability often gets you further than skill alone. Bottom line: Trust is precious. Every time you keep a promise, you’re reinforcing the foundation of your connection with that person (including yourself).

Dependability: Your Secret Relationship Superpower

Here’s the thing about dependability—it’s a bit like a safety net. The more people trust in your consistency, the more they’ll lean on you, share openly and ultimately, stick around. Being dependable means people can feel safe around you, knowing you’ll actually show up when it counts. This actually speaks louder than you trying to reassure them with your words.

In a work context, dependability looks like meeting those deadlines, showing up as a team player and following through on commitments (even the annoying ones). At home, it’s the small, reliable gestures that build a foundation of respect and closeness. Relationships flourish when they’re built on dependability—so why not make it your superpower? The ripple effect of this superpower is kind of enormous!

Follow-Through: The Art of Turning Intentions into Actions

Everyone means well, right? But intentions alone don’t build trust. Oh it would be so much easier if they did sometimes, wouldn't it?! It’s in the follow-through where relationships are made, strengthened or broken. Following through shows people you’re more than talk—it shows you actually value the relationship enough to back up your words. It shows how much you care.

Take, for instance, that time you told a friend you’d help them move but bailed last minute. While it may not seem like a huge deal, these moments add up. Professionally, follow-through is about becoming a go-to person, someone whose word means something. With each small action, you’re proving and communicating that you’re dependable, trustworthy, and invested.

How to Be Reliable (Even When Life’s Busy)

  • Be Honest About What You Can Commit To: Reliability doesn’t mean overloading your plate. So you have to be honest with yourself first. If you can’t commit, say so. People appreciate honesty, more than people pleasing in the moment and are more likely to trust you when they know you’re realistic.
  • Show Up in Small Ways, Regularly: Trust isn’t built on grand gestures—it’s in the small, consistent moments. I adore the saying "How you do some things, is how you do everything!" Keep showing up in every area of your life, even if it’s just a check-in.
  • Communicate Early and Often: If something changes, let people know ASAP. Even though we often want to avoid the discomfort of letting someone down, it shows that you value the relationship enough to keep them informed.
  • Take Accountability Seriously: If you slip up, own it. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about taking responsibility and showing that you’ll do better next time. Accountability speaks volumes when it comes to your character and reputation. Your reputation precedes you, so why not pave the way to success!

Why Reliability Is More Than Just a Nice-to-Have

The magic of reliability is that it grows relationships from surface level to deeply connected. When people know you’ll be there, they invest more in the relationship. Trust grows. Connections deepen. And you’ll find that your relationships—whether personal or professional—will be more rewarding because of it.

So, next time you’re tempted to flake, remember the price tag attached to that choice. It’s not about guilt or perfection; it’s about investing in relationships that matter. 

Embracing reliability isn’t just good for others—it’s good for you, too. A dependable person is a respected person. And respect? Well, that’s priceless. So here’s to showing up, building trust, and reaping the rewards of truly connected relationships. Also, watch what happens when you begin by keeping your word to yourself. 

Keep the Faith,

xo Kate