“I’m only lucky.”
“I’m not good.”
“I don’t deserve it.
Sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve experienced it, or someone you know has been reinforcing these destinies within their own life.
Most of us have experienced doubt and unworthiness at some point in our lives. We feel like we are not skilled, talented, or good enough and that whatever we achieve is not a reality. We can feel it in our job, in our business, or being a parent.
But when your accomplishments are a product of your knowledge, skills, hard work, and preparation, and yet you still feel inadequate, you probably suffer from Imposter Syndrome.
People who suffer from Imposters Syndrome often feel like a fraud despite being intelligent, skilled, and capable. They feel uneasy and believe they have somehow tricked people into thinking they are good instead of celebrating their successes. As a result, they live in fear and anxiety of being exposed. It stops us in our tracks, scares us, makes our hearts beat uncontrollably fast, makes us cry, stresses us, and makes us wonder what we’re doing with our lives. Indeed, it’s so debilitating.
One effective way to deal with imposter syndrome is mastering one’s mind. But how? Maintaining control is far easier said than done.
Often we feel like our minds are controlling us rather than us controlling our minds. But the truth is we can master our mindset with a little practice. And with purposeful attention, we can allow our minds to be our best asset rather than take us down into a hurtful ride. It can help reduce stress, improve emotional regulation and self-control, improve relationships and help break free from imposter syndrome, which most of us suffer from, and achieve our desired success and peace of mind. Here are some steps to gain control of your mind and break free from imposter syndrome.
Acknowledge Your Feelings and Your Thoughts
Perhaps the first step is acknowledging your feelings, thoughts, and why you experience them. You cannot fight something you never know or accept as existing. Start by having a journal and jot down all your feelings and thoughts of self-doubt or inadequacy and the specific reasons why you experience them.
Chances are that seeing your thoughts and feelings written out in black and white will enable you to see how harmful they are and for you to challenge them. For each negative self-talk you have, write down some counter-positive statements or affirmations to neutralize them.
Examine your core beliefs.
Harsh as it may seem, we are often the source behind the debilitating thoughts that creep into our minds. We often have these preconceptions and beliefs of how everything will turn out in the future based on our past experiences. We believe there is a black and white to life. However, know that while the past did indeed happen, the future can not be predicted totally. We should not block the possibilities of our future.
Now, try to ask yourselves and examine your beliefs? Do you believe you are too old or weak to do something? NO! Do you believe that no one will accept you because you’ve made some mistakes in your past? Let it go! Your life has so many possibilities to unveil to you, and your thoughts are blocking them. Be open to the unexpected, life isn’t black and white. There is a lot of gray to it.
Learn to Pause or Take a Break
Our minds can always be packed with swarming thoughts. Not all thoughts are welcome, and if left unresolved will get worse. Thus, before you let any thought grow further - take a pause. Think of what you’ve been doing and what you can do more. Your intuition knows you and will always give you the right answer. When we pause, we allow ourselves to collect ourselves, giving us a clearer image of the situation. Thus learn to practice taking a pause before letting your thoughts run free and control you. It will help you to stop unwanted thoughts and allow constructive thinking.
Take control of your thoughts with deep breathing.
Sometimes in our lives, we can’t stop ourselves from thinking about unwanted things. Deep breathing can help you in controlling your thoughts. Pause an out-of-control train of thoughts by telling yourself to literally STOP and get hold of yourself. Then, take 7-11 deep breaths, not thinking about anything. Experts suggest a minimum of 90 seconds of deep breathing. Focusing your mind on your breathing for a moment gives you some distance from your thoughts and allows you to think only of what you “should think.”
Practice Meditation.
Many have practiced meditation for thousands of years, and perhaps, it is one of the most powerful ways to master our minds. Meditation is one great way to acknowledge unwanted thoughts. Mental health has endless benefits for our mental health. It asks us to still our minds and recognize when our minds are running free.
It may seem as if meditation is really not helping. You sit, you relax, but no matter how you try to clear from your head, random negative thoughts keep popping into your mind. However, if you stick with it, it can help change your mind. This is one way to improve your attention and be aware of yourself.
Feed Your Mind Good Words
Just as our body needs nourishing foods for our health, the words and images we allow to enter our minds are equally important. Stop watching things that can add fuel to your negative thoughts. Eliminate any negativity from social media. Remember that whatever you consume through images, words or actions can affect your thoughts. We are what we feed to our minds, and our words or actions are the reflections of our mental diets.
Remind yourself to be the master of your mind through affirmations. Pin positive sayings, affirmations, and goals all over your space cause sometimes, all you need are reminders to stop the negative spiral of negative thoughts. You can take positive affirmations like “I’m awesome.” and add your name to them. With consistency, you’ll find it easy to believe. Consider this like being prepared. Have a response ready to go when those self-limiting thoughts pop up. “Stop! I no longer believe that lie.” and then redirect your thoughts to what you do want.
Visualize Your Success
Take five or ten minutes every day and visualize whatever success means to you. You can picture yourself with million dollars in your bank account, having that vacation you dream of, or buying your dream car or dream house. Imagine it and feel it. Feel the excitement, happiness, and gratefulness. Jump, dance it out, and do whatever makes the visualization seem real. With this, you’re training your mind to focus on your goals.
Final Thoughts
Many of us spend a sky-high amount of time and energy taking care of our bodies. We try to keep ourselves looking and feeling our best. However, when it comes to the mind, sadly, less attention is paid. Taking care and becoming aware of the mind often comes as an afterthought. Worse, we think of the mind as something beyond our control.
The quality of our thoughts impacts the quality of our lives. We can all plant beautiful flowers in our gardens of life rather than letting weeds take over. Remember, what you give power to can have power over you, but only if you allow it. We can let unwanted and destructive tenants occupy our minds or choose desirable tenants like hope, peace, gratitude, compassion, love, and joy.
Most of us may struggle with our thoughts, and sometimes we find it difficult to process all these. It can be exhausting and complicated. Mastering our minds can be challenging as it requires patience and blind faith. It is a constant process. But it is POSSIBLE if we practice it daily and make those skills above part of our habits. It can become our best friend, biggest supporter, and someone we can count on to be there and push us. It may take time, but it will be worth it. Again, we can be in control of our thoughts. And soon, you’ll wonder why such things bothered you in the past. The choice is OURS. If you are ready to own your power with ease, then I invite you to learn more about my coaching program Milli Evolution.
